“Always” Use The Right Word

It was the first anniversary of the new County Hospital and a communitywide celebration was held to mark this special occasion. After a terrific meal the County Board Chair walked up to the podium and asked if any guests in the audience would like to share how the new County Hospital had benefited their lives.

A lady in the back of the room stood up and walked up to the podium. She said she would like to personally thank the County Board for voting to approve the construction of this wonderful hospita. She said she also want to personally thank all the dedicated staff, Nurses and Doctors who work at this great County facility.

She went on to say that a few months after the new County Hospital opened her husband George was involved in a terrible automobile accident. As a result of this
accident his scrotum was completely crushed and almost destroyed. She said
the pain George expereinced because of his crushed scrotum was excruciating and the Doctors told her they were not really sure if they could even help George.

As she spoke all the men in the audience gasped as they tried to image the unbelievable pain poor George experienced with a crushed scrotum.

She continued that George was in so much pain from his crushed scrotum that he was unable to hold me or hug our children good night. However the Doctor’s at this ultra modern County facitlily were able to perform an extremely delicate operation –
seldom performed at hospitals anyway in the United States.

Because of this fantastic county facility and the outstanding county employees who work here they were able to piece together the remnant’s of Goerge’ crushed scrotum. an place them in a wire mesh so his scrotum could be held in place long enough to properly heal – approximately 7 weeks.

Again all the men and several of the women in the audience now sat squirming in their chairs as they tried to imagine the horrible surgery and wire mesh contraption that George had to endure with here at the new County hospital.

The wife went on to say that George is now out of the hospital and the Doctors are confident that with a little bit more time his scrotum will completely recover he will once again be the whole man he once was. All the men and every woman in the room sighed with relief.

As the lady walked off the podium to a loud round of applause the County Board Chair asked if there was anyone else in the audience who had anything to say about the new hospital.

A man in the back of the room rose, then ever so slowly walked up to the podium. Once behind the the podium he adjusted the microphone to his height and said “Hi, I am George … I just want to tell all of you, and especially my wife – once again, the word is sternum Darling: S T E R N UM