Blind Spots and Burned Bridges: ‘Everyone is Wrong’ But Me

I was sipping my coffee during a break at a leadership training when I witnessed quite the story unfold. A participant, who identified as a high-ranking government civilian, said they left their previous job because it was a “toxic environment.” Here’s the setup: They inherited a mixed team of civilian and contractor employees, all teleworking. In their words, the office “didn’t have any structure and work wasn’t being done.” Their solution? Everyone had to come into the office, including contractor employees.

That was when my inner contract nerd (yes, I proudly wear that badge) started getting twitchy. Trying to keep it casual, I asked, “so…did you raise the contract employees’ issues to the contracting officer or contracting officer’s representative?” They said, “only to the representative. And they blamed me. They complained to leadership.”

I asked some technical questions that revealed details that would make any federal contracting expert spill their coffee. But, let’s stick to the leadership lesson. They continued, saying the whole team started complaining, including civilian and contractor employees, calling this leader’s approach harsh and abrasive.

Here’s where it gets interesting. The big boss investigated, interviewed everyone, and came to the same conclusion. This leader’s takeaway? “Everyone was against me and leadership didn’t support me!”

When Everyone’s Pointing, Maybe They’re Not Wrong

Let’s face it! When everyone — from contractors to civilians to the big boss — pointed to the same issue, it’s likely there was a blind spot in their leadership approach. The hardest part about blind spots is that, by definition, we can’t see them ourselves. That’s why feedback, even when it stings, is a gift. At this point, it’s crucial to step back and self-reflect instead of getting defensive. Effective leadership requires us to override that initial defensive response and replace it with curiosity.

Leadership Reality Check: Time for Some Real Talk

So let’s get vulnerable for a moment. Here are some questions we should all be asking ourselves as leaders:

• Am I making decisions based on what’s convenient for me or what’s best for the team? (Be honest with yourself here!)
• How do I typically respond to feedback? Do I get defensive or get curious?
• Are my actions building trust or eroding it?
• Am I focusing on control or on creating an environment where people can do their best work?

Being a leader isn’t about wielding power like a magic wand and expecting everyone to fall in line. It’s about creating an environment where people actually want to do their best work. Sometimes that means taking a step back and asking, “Am I part of the problem?” And let’s be real — we all have blind spots! When faced with criticism, true leaders don’t see themselves as victims. They see an opportunity for growth and improvement. Moral of the story? When everyone’s giving you the same feedback, it’s not a conspiracy — it’s a clue. Don’t waste it!

Adeline (Addy) Maissonet is a Procurement Analyst for the Defense Pricing, Contracting, and Acquisition Policy (DPCAP) within the Office of the Secretary of Defense (OSD), U.S. Department of Defense (DoD). She serves as a senior advisor on contracting policies and procedures and the agency’s representative on the Department’s views on proposed legislation to Congressional members, their staff, and committee staffers. Prior to her current role, Addy served as a Division Chief and Contracting Officer with unlimited warrant authority for the U.S. Army Mission and Installation Contracting Command (MICC) – Fort Eustis, Virginia. Addy holds an MBA in Management and Contracting Level III Certification under the Defense Acquisition Workforce Improvement Act. She is a graduate from Cornell University’s Executive Leadership Certificate Program. In her free time, Addy enjoys hiking and overlanding with her family and friends.

Note: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the Department of Defense.

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