CDC Releases Zombie Preparedness Guide; We Uncover Additional Federal Zombie Opportunities

Originally published on GovWin

As reported in many news sites today, the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) has released a new document that highlights the potential concern of a zombie invasion occurring in the future.

A zombie specifically known as a Jockey. Courtesy of Valve

If such an event does occur (and it will), the CDC suggests that you should have an emergency kit and an emergency plan prior to an outbreak. “This includes where you would go and who you would call if zombies started appearing outside your door step. You can also implement this plan if there is a flood, earthquake, or other emergency.”

Exclusive: More Federal Government Zombie Outbreak Preparations

In addition to the CDC’s recommendations for individual preparation, comprehensive GovWin research has uncovered other Federal government zombie outbreak preparations, hidden within seemingly normal opportunity postings on FedBizOpps:

Chainsaws: While this IDIQ is supposedly for Woody Biomass Removal Stewardship for the Forest Service in Oregon, the requirements for “slash treatments,” chipping and grinding are clearly meant to increase contractor familiarity with bulldozers, chainsaws, and other zombie-management tools.

Bulldozer Undercarriage Repair: This Department of the Interior Bureau of Reclamation solicitation is for bulldozer repair. Bulldozers, front-end loaders and other heavy earthmoving equipment will be vital during zombie outbreaks, not only in the preparation of earthwork defenses, but also for zombie eradication and disposal.

Shotguns: L-3 Services’ MPRI Division was awarded a $13,450 Navy contract for a weapons simulator system for Navy Handgun and Shotgun Weapons Qualifications courses, as an alternative to live-fire training. For many, the shotgun is the preferred anti-zombie weapons platform, and the use of a simulator system will allow additional personnel to be trained and maintain their proficiency, even while under seige. (See also: Sources Sought for 10 Gauge and 12 Gauge Shotgun Shell Production)

BRAINS!!!! Disguised as a National Institutes of Health notice of intent for Medical Examiner Services “to collect human postmortem brains and specimens at autopsy that may be of interest to the NIMH for research into the neurobiology mental disorders”… I don’t think anything more needs to be said.

CDC’s Emergency Kit Recommendations

• Water (1 gallon per person per day)
• Food (stock up on non-perishable items that you eat regularly)
• Medications (this includes prescription and non-prescription meds)
• Tools and Supplies (utility knife, duct tape, battery powered radio, etc.)
• Sanitation and Hygiene (household bleach, soap, towels, etc.)
• Clothing and Bedding (a change of clothes for each family member and blankets)
• Important documents (copies of your driver’s license, passport, and birth certificate to name a few)
• First Aid supplies (although you’re a goner if a zombie bites you, you can use these supplies to treat basic cuts and lacerations that you might get during a tornado or hurricane)

See additional zombie outbreak preparation tips and additional emergency supplies the CDC recommends you include in your emergency kit.

What tools and items are you including in your zombie survival kit? What evidence of further government zombie preparations have you found? Are you currently pursuing contracting, subcontracting or teaming opportunities related to zombie-eradication and management? Leave a comment below.

[Managing Editor Joe Loong has thought way too much about zombies and also contributed to this post.]

Elliot Volkman is the Community Manager of GovWin.com, the network that helps government contractors win new business every day. He can be reached at [email protected], or follow him on Twitter @thejournalizer.