Welcome back to our journey of exploring boundaries!
In our previous blog post, we reviewed the importance of recognizing when it may be time to set boundaries. Today, let’s look at ways to establish and strengthen them.
Getting Started with Setting Boundaries
Think of your boundaries as guardrails that guide you through a fast-paced, demanding environment. Start by pinpointing areas where they may be lacking. In my last blog post, I talked about checking in with yourself to ask if you are regularly saying “yes” to tasks even when you’re already overwhelmed. Are others controlling your schedule, leaving you with little time for your priorities? Do you find yourself working past regular office hours?
The Power of Clarity
Like many other things, success in boundary setting relies on clear communication. When talking about your boundaries, be direct and specific. For example, avoid statements like “I can’t do that,” and opt for a precise approach, such as, “I have a prior commitment at that time.” Clarity helps prevent misunderstandings and shows consideration for both your needs and those of others.
What might this look like? Let’s practice.
Unclear: “I might not be able to make it to the inter-agency meeting.”
Clear: “I have a conflict with a previously scheduled briefing with my supervisor. I’ll send any notes prior to the meeting.”
Unclear: “I’m usually busy after work.”
Clear: “I dedicate my evenings to personal projects, so I’m not available after 6 PM.”
Small Steps, Big Impact
Don’t try to tackle everything at once. Start with small, manageable changes. For example, if you usually work late, pick one evening a week for personal time. Gradually expand these boundaries as you become more comfortable communicating your needs.
Practice Makes Perfect (Well, Almost)
Practice saying “no” assertively. Try this standing in front of a mirror and pay attention to your body language and tone. Are you firm yet respectful? Do you look confident? Practicing like this or with a trusted friend can boost your confidence for real-world situations.
The Support Network
Build a support network of people who respect and understand your boundaries. Share your goals with friends or family. Let them know how they can support you. This network can provide motivation and accountability.
Remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day. Three things I can’t emphasize enough: Start with small steps, communicate with clarity, and practice assertiveness.
Pro-tip:
Consider using a color-coded system to identify when different levels of assertiveness may be required, depending on the person and situation.
- Green Boundary Setting (Low Risk): Assume positive intent and politely remind the person of your boundary. Example: A colleague interrupts your focused work time. “Hey, I’m in the middle of something right now. Can we chat in a little bit?”
- Yellow Boundary Setting (Moderate Risk): Be more assertive. Explain how the person’s actions are affecting you. Example: Using the same situation as above, “I appreciate you wanting to connect, but I need to focus on a deadline I have. These interruptions are making it difficult to meet them.”
- Red Boundary Setting (High Risk): Clearly outline the consequences if the behavior continues. Example: Interruptions are significantly impacting your work. “I’ve asked you multiple times to respect my focused work time. If this continues, I’ll need to involve our supervisors.”
Key Points to Remember:
- Setting boundaries takes practice and consistency.
- Don’t be afraid to revisit and adjust your boundaries as needed.
- Remember to celebrate your progress and the positive impact it has on your well-being and professional success.
Sally is a seasoned federal government professional with experience in strategic communication, program development, holistic coaching, and cultivating a thriving workplace environment. She is passionate about aligning organizational goals with employee satisfaction, productivity, and retention. Her holistic approach to leadership emphasizes the importance of both personal and professional growth within the public sector.
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