When asked, most people believe they take 100% responsibility for their lives. Do you? Have you ever blamed someone or something for things that has gone wrong? Have you ever complained about someone or something? If you have/do, you give up responsibility.
Recently on Face Book I reconnected with an acquaintance from my youth. As we started talking about our lives over the past 30 plus years she started to share with me a heartbreaking story about her past where she had been sexually abused and assaulted as a teenage girl. What she shared with me next is an example of an extraordinary woman who took 100% responsibility for her life. Although the abuse eventually came to an end there were no consequences for the scum who did what he did. For the next 30 years this monster of a man had created an emotional burden, many of us won’t ever understand. But like a lot of victims, she protected herself by gaining weight, not wearing makeup and dressing plain so as to not attract any unwanted attention. For 30 years she allowed what happen to her dictate her life . . . until recently. Before we reconnected, she began to realize, if she was going to be healthy, physically and emotionally, she would need to take back control – take responsibility . . . 100% responsibility. No longer would she blame him for the way she looked. No longer would she blame those who did nothing for the way she acted. No longer would she blame the events for the way she behaved. Don’t confuse responsibility for blame. Clearly we all understand what happened to her was NOT her fault. But today she is an attractive, physically and emotionally healthy woman. She exercises, eats healthy, dresses fashionably and carries herself with pride and confidence – because she takes 100% responsibility for her life. Granted this may be an extreme example but then anything less is doable.
In his book, “Man’s Search of Meaning”, Viktor Frankl talks of his days as a prisoner in a Nazi concentration camp. He tells us, that although the Nazis could take away their liberty, their possessions and even their dignity, the one thing they could not take from them was each man’s (women’s) freedom to choose how they would respond. (Read the pages of his book here where he discusses this.)
Quite, complaining and blaming your spouse, your boss, your co-workers, the economy or the government for everything that’s gone wrong in your life. It’s not about who’s wrong, or who’s at fault, it’s about what will you do to make it better. Are you going to complain, whine and be miserable? Own it! You will be amazed of the burden that will be lifted off your shoulders and the success that can be yours.
Be Extraordinary!
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Be sure to check out the other “Success Rules” below:
Good morning – Thank you for this inspiring post.